If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
