i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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