so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize