Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
