Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
