I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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