Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
