my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
