Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
