that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
