Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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