Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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