why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
