The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
