it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
