Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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