spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Holy shit dude........stairs
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