Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
