Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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