Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
