porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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