distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
