I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
