It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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