You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
