My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
