Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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