yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize