I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
