I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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