Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
