It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
