we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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