Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
