Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
