It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just had sex on a roof
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
