Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
