I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
