he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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