I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
