Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
