dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
