didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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