i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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