I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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