I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
