well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
