Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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