Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
do herpes really smell.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
