I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
