When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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