You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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