Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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