it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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