physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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