i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The air taste purple.
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