She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
