so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize
