I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
