it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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