Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize