I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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