I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
