We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
