I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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