the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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