Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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